Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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