Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize