I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We named our party play list daddy issues
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize