Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
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Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
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Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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