just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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