Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize