piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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