No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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