My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
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this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
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DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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