It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
They should really pass out barf bags in church
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize