so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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