I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
the day after is always just damage control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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