You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
im six kinds of drunk right now
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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