he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We left an ass print on the piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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