I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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