If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize