Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Randomize
Follow @tfln