You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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