I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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