I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize