ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
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I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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