if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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