God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
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You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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