I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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