Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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