I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize