i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize