a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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