Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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