when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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