you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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