Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
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I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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