Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize