the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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