btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize