is your mom at the bar?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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