And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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