Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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