yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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