Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
pray to the hookup gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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