I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize