i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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