i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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