Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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