Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize