Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
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I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
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i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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