"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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