Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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