Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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