Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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